One day I woke and looked around
but everything was different.
Unfamiliar shapes
loomed in the morning sun.
Had everything around me changed
as I dreamed of someplace better?
Rising slowly from my bed,
I cried
as memories like raindrops fell
through the shadows of my mind.
To my left
an open window
showed me someplace
I thought I knew.
But there was no way through the glass.
Outside a bird flew by,
its wings fluttered
like a heart in pain of death.
I looked away
and a face appeared,
staring through the windowglass
as though I were not even there.
I saw the sun
but all the trees were steeped in darkness,
bent and broken,
as though the weight of summers lost
would never let them find the light again.
I lay down,
crying,
for all was as it ever was,
save for myself,
the only thing different
in a world now strange
forevermore.
dream
Waverley
I dreamed of far-off Waverley
where golden tree leaves sway.
I walked along her silver streets
where snow white pebbles lay.
I heard a cold clear river run
across a verdant field.
The gentle sun washed over me,
its sweet caress my shield.
And all around blue butterflies
encircled flowers sweet.
But then my eyes looked to the left
and sunlight did retreat.
Even in my Waverley
the dark was always near.
Then in the dream I turned away
and shed a lonely tear.
I came across a hill of grass
that smelled of summer rain.
And as I wept, a smile broke through
the neverending pain.
Even though the shadows come
no matter where I go,
the crystal sea of Waverley
within my veins does flow.
When I woke and left that place
that lives within my soul,
I cried again for then I knew
I never would be whole.
Not until my dying day
when finally I’ll be
forever in the place that holds my heart –
my Waverley.
Untitled
I ran through a golden field,
the grass beneath my feet
soft as satin,
sunlight on my face,
a warm and gentle breeze
lightly stroking my hair.
I heard a laugh like little bells
and reached out toward the light
that shone from everywhere.
I stopped,
breathless.
Before me was an open door,
a staircase on the other side.
I looked to the sky
and watched a bird fly overhead.
I stepped through
and the door closed behind me.
No grass beneath my feet.
But I walked
up the stairs,
looking for the sky above me
and the bird with restless wings,
but above me all was darkness.
So I walked
up and up.
I looked down only once.
No stairs stretched out behind me.
So I walked up
toward the place
where the sky should have been.
Untitled
Last night I dreamed you held me tight
and whispered in my ear.
I kissed you softly through the night,
in heaven with you near.
At some point as the morning sun
shone on a distant hill
I woke and knew the dream was done
and lonely was I still.
The sweet caress of love remained,
the swelling of my heart,
but bittersweet I lay there pained,
for we were e’er apart.
And then I cried in heartbreak true
for never would I see.
It’s only in the dreams that you
still live in memory.
I Caught a Glimpse of Some Eternity
I caught a glimpse of some Eternity
as I gazed toward an almost setting sun.
And in that moment time stood still,
the ache deep in my heart relieved at last
as every leaf caught in a gentle breeze
stood frozen in a heavenly repose.
And as the light turned golden all around
a single snow white dove flew overhead.
With arms outstretched I reached out toward the sun,
but something told me it was not for me,
that on no beating of a white dove’s wings
was there a haven waiting patiently.
I let the tears fall freely from my eyes
and with one blink Eternity was gone.
And as the dull eternal pain returned,
I watched the sun again start to descend.
I walked in silence as the wind picked up,
in search of someplace I could call my own,
where one short glimpse becomes reality.
Into the Woods
Into the woods I wander
searching for a special place
that calls to me.
And the trees,
they guide me
to the light within the dark.
To my left a river runs,
and the wind whispers in the leaves
telling me I have found the way.
Though the path is long and dark
and I may never reach the place where my dream lies waiting,
I give myself to the woods,
knowing I am safe at last
for never will the whispers
tell me to go back again.
The dream alive forever more.
And I am free
to wander.
The Golden Place
Across an ocean black as pitch, some say,
there lies a land that even time forgot,
an ancient place where dwell forgotten dreams.
And if one finds perchance safe passage there
by searching darkest depths of memory,
a golden city will at last appear.
Though don’t be foold by beauty’s shining light,
for ‘neath the gold is only an abyss.
And when the city opens wide its gate,
revealed is naught but endless empty streets
beneath which breathe the souls who came before.
There is but one way down the golden streets,
no way to turn back on the path once found.
And at the center of that golden place
is where all roads at long last will converge.
And in the center is an azure pool,
it sings a siren’s call to weary feet.
None can resist the pull to water’s edge,
the lure of knowledge in eternal sleep.
With just one touch the universe revealed,
and light of gold gives way to starry night.
And in that instant one joins with the sun
that ever keeps that golden city bright.
Meet Me in That Nightmare Forest
I was walking a solitary path through a deep, dark forest. There were no sounds around me. I glanced left and right as I walked, but there was nothing to see except the trunks of trees so thick and tall no light broke through from the sky above, their bark so rough I thought my skin would be sliced open if I reached out to touch them. Despite the darkness, I was not frightened. I did not wonder why the leaves did not crunch under my feet nor did I ask myself where I was going. The path narrowed and curved suddenly but the forest barely seemed to change, no matter how far I progressed.
On a whim, I glanced back over my shoulder and was certain I could make out a lone dark figure following behind me, just coming around the bend in the path. Even though I could not discern any distinguishing features, I felt a deep aversion to that dark figure. It did not matter what it was or why it was following behind me. I dared not look back again, somehow sure that were I to do so, that figure would be even closer.
I looked down at my feet, overcome with the desire to walk faster, but they kept moving at a steady pace, and I was carried ever farther along that forest path. The ground grew suddenly steep, and the path widened enough for two people to walk side by side through the trees. I felt a surge of panic, as I could not quicken my pace as I started up the incline. Try as I might, I could not force myself to move faster and, even as my fear of the dark figure intensified, I tried to resist the urge to look over my shoulder again. The need to know what was coming overcame me, however, and I stole a fast glance behind me.
The dark figure that had been almost one hundred yards behind had gained on me by more than half that distance.
A certainty that I must quicken my pace gripped me like an icy fist. But try as I might, I could not force myself to move faster, although I did not grow weary or lose my breath as I climbed up that forest hill. I felt a chill run down my spine and I knew the dark figure was closing in on me. I lowered my head and pumped my arms desperately, but my feet stubbornly continued to move at the same pace. The silence around me was as the thickest liquid through which I attempted to push my legs, pressing on me from all sides.
It was at that moment that I heard the unmistakable sound of a footfall.
My heart beat faster and faster but my legs continued to walk with the same maddeningly slow stride. Another footfall, and then another, echoed in the dense forest of trees and my eyes rolled frantically from side to side as I searched for any route of escape from the path and the figure that pursued me. I stole one more glance back over my shoulder and saw the dark figure just ten feet behind me. It, too, seemed to be walking at the same, ever unchanging pace, yet it had gained on me so quickly. It was tall, but with no distinguishing features other than the long, long legs that carried it ever closer. When I turned back to the path in front of me, I saw that I had almost reached the top of the slope. More footfalls rang out, and I suddenly realized that the steps were not coming from the dark figure behind me.
They were coming from the hilltop in front of me.
Slowly, as though rising from inside the earth, you approached me from over the crest of the hill. At the very top of the path, you stopped and waited for me to meet you, your arms outstretched. Your face seemed to glow with a heavenly light that banished the darkness deep into the trees. Your smile brought hope to the lonely, never ending forest and you regarded me with eyes so full of kindness. I reached out my hands to embrace you just as the chilly breath of the dark figure gently grazed the back of my neck. It was then that your gaze shifted ever so slightly and I knew that you caught a glimpse of the dark figure that was practically upon me. Your arms dropped to your sides and your expression changed to one of such horror, your eyes wide, mouth straining to scream, your entire visage twisted into a grotesque parody of human emotion.
And then I woke up.
Upon awaking, I cried bitter tears, only not because of my fear of the dark figure in my nightmare or the eerie forest from which I could not escape. Not even because of the look of abject terror on your face that was the last thing I saw before emerging from a fitful sleep.
I cried because I longed to return to that nightmare forest and walk that path again. For it is only in the dream that I can remember your face.
The Dream
A tribute to Goethe.
I dreamed I found the golden goblet of that ancient king.
I turned it slowly in my hand and in my head did ring
a voice I recognized as his, that dear and sacred ghost.
He whispered softly, “Where is she, the one I love the most?”
And then I saw below me was a deep and dark blue sea.
My fingers opened and the goblet fell so silently.
As it disappeared I felt a tear drop from my eye.
If the king had lost his queen, was death the last goodbye?
All the years he waited with the goblet by his side
sure she would be waiting, too, the moment that he died.
Then in the dream I turned and saw the castle standing tall.
His knights on shining steeds approached the ivy-covered wall
And lo! Who led the palace troops, decked out in royal green?
None other than the loyal king and his belovèd queen!
They were e’er together in that castle by the sea!
But who, then, whispered in my ear? Who asked me, “Where is she?”
And then I woke still veiled in sadness and a certain fear
as thoughts of you ran through my mind, you who I hold most dear.
Will you want to come and find me even after death?
Or will our love just disappear upon a dying breath?
And then I heard the voice again – but it was not the king.
And my heart soared, for it was you, love surged in a wellspring.
I realized in that moment, then, that it was always you.
And like that ancient king and queen, our love is really true.
I will always wait for you, and you will come for me.
One life just isn’t long enough, but in Eternity
our souls will meet again in our own castle by the sea.
Onyx City Writing 